Prep in advance!

You can start getting ready for the school routine before the summer holidays finish. There are lots of easy small things you can do that you can start now:

• Organise some playdates with school friends in advance of going back
• Adjust breakfast and lunch times to be similar to the school day
• Let children be involved in the back to school purchases – bags, uniform, shoes.
• Practice putting on school uniform and packing school bags
• Drive or walk past school the week before school starts to get familiar with the environment
• Help with sensory triggers: wash uniform and cut off any itchy labels in advance
• Make a visual timetable for your day/week. You can use our template!

Managing After School

• Expect the after-school meltdown/shutdown: it’s not surprising that meltdowns/shutdowns are hugely common when children get home to their safe space. Planning for these can help you support your reaction
• Offer a quiet space: offering downtime, snacks or low-demand activities like fidgets or colouring before asking about their day can make for easier conversations later
• Keep your evenings simple: providing easy/accepted meals and reducing extra-curricular commitments for the first few weeks can make life easier for everyone

Working with school

• Ask school to send a picture of the new classroom and teacher in advance so your child can see where they are going and who they will meet
• Create a ‘School Passport’: this short document helps staff get to know your child’s likes/dislikes, triggers and worries. You can use our template.

Reduce the pressure

Firstly, it is crucial that you support them gently, compassionately, and at a pace they are comfortable with to avoid stress, shame, pressure, or even trauma around their bodily functions.

Build predictable routines

Stick to the same routines and the same sequence of events because that equals safety.

• visit the bathroom at same times of day
• follow the same steps before and after using the toilet
• use visual aids
• be consistent with wording and use of a calm voice
• provide the same tools (footstool, step, their favourite scent of hand soap etc.)

Visual sequences are particularly useful with children and adults who have limited verbal communication. You can download our printable visuals here:

Interoception – why it’s important

Using the toilet is a sensory experience involving the interoceptive system which is how your body notices and understands internal signals like hunger/thirst, temperature, pain and much more including the urge to need the toilet etc.

A lot of neurodivergent people don’t recognise these signals until they are urgent. While others may feel them too intensely so the slightest feeling is overwhelming which the try to suppress.

So remember to be patient when accidents happen as often it isn’t a deliberate action to withhold or avoid the bathroom but they may find it difficult to interpret, understand or trust what their body is telling them.

How to help:

• Talk about the feelings “tight tummy”, “pressure” etc.
• Use visual scales for them to rate how they feel (1-5 or smiley/sad faces)
• Footstools are great for young children who feel unstable when sitting on the toilet with their legs dangling. Not to mention that bringing their knees up is better for toileting.
• Give choices – “flush before or after washing hands”, “dry hands with a material or a paper towel”.
• Avoid shame – no embarrassment, punishment or pressure. If they feel safe and supported they are more likely to have a positive experience.
• Celebrate the successes! Small wins are worth celebrating e.g. sitting on the toilet for only a few seconds, communicating discomfort, tolerating the bathroom environment etc.

Food

Neurodivergent people are more likely to experience food sensitivities with:

• Texture
• Smell
• Mixing different foods
• Strong temperature preferences
• Struggling to sit at a table for mealtimes
• Feeling of food in their mouth

This isn’t because they are being picky or stubborn but often because their nervous system is identifying the food as unsafe. For some people, certain foods can genuinely feel unbearable… e.g. a yoghurt is slimey and disgusting. Mixed food on a plate is uncontrollable. A smell could be overpowering. Crunching noises may feel painful.

Why are ‘beige’ foods so appealing?

The majority of neurodivergent people will have a restricted diet of a few ‘safe’ foods and often they are processed foods rather than fresh fruit or vegetables – have you ever wondered why?

Simply because those foods are more predictable! Crisps, chips, chicken nuggets etc. are fairly consistent in their texture, appearance and flavour. Compare that to a bowl of strawberries – some are firm, some are soft, some are sweet, some a little sour – that uncertainty can be upsetting for people with sensory issues so they stick to the foods they are comfortable with.

Before:

During:

• Eat together so you can model eating the same food as them.
• Try food exploration – let them smell, touch and play with the food. Don’t force them to take bites/spoonfuls to avoid distress. Allow them go at their own pace with trying new foods. Celebrate the small wins – success could be tolerating, exploring or staying calm during the meal even if they don’t eat the food.
• Respect their sensory preferences: minimise what they don’t like e.g. crunchy, smooth, bland, warm/cold etc.
• Food chaining can be really helpful to gradually link new foods to foods they already feel safe with.
• Having safe foods available alongside new food helps them feel secure.

Throughout:

• Choose language carefully – supportive comments and lots of praise.
• Take breaks if needed – there is no rush, let them take a break to move or regulate.
• Keep it fun – make it a social experience with family and friends or play a game, listen to music while eating – whatever suits them best.